LivingALifeThatIWant

GQ's lament...

2004-02-09T18:31:15Z

Many things happened recently that broaden alot of my prospective...

For a start, I realise that I am such a self centered jerk... all the numerous praises and affirmation from all the people around me in the past has made me too light headed... I lived in my little world of self- illusion... and I became so self centered.. With my conviction in lives comes that self justification shit that is attched... I lost sense of what humility was... I had abandoned and drifted from the teaching of Master Koichi Tohei (to the best of my personnal interpretation). I start to tok more than I listen, demand more than I supply, expect more than I give.

In anycase, I am just a jerk who has become disillusioned of my own life, undeniable fuelled by that self sense of importance in the things that I did...

Having recognised all that, it dawn on me that I was suddenly engulfed with inferiority complex... When people can skillfully manuveuer a ball in court or maybe excel in some fields of their own, I had nothing that I can be proud of... I am a jack of some, and master of none... and I dun even qualify as a jack of all as any consolation...

There were so many dreams that was unfulfilled.. so much things I would have wished I could have done when I was a kid... So much times that we wasted during my teens.. and of course behind this was a story of a little boy who din want to do anything besides studying....

Bear bear is chossing his ECA this year... He wanted to join scouts and chess.. I supported him in that... I had hoped he would have joined badminton too, but I guess it may have been too many for him to tackle... Maybe I just want him to realise things that I hadnt done... I wanted him to grow to become a better person than his brother.... He is growing everyday... and I am sure under the guidance of my family, he will grow to be a great person in future.. someone who is not deprived of any humility yet successful in his life... (Dont tok about the definition of success... ;p )

New year's resolution

2004-01-02T07:23:08Z

Heres my new years resolution:

1) To be a better big brother and son to my family... Spend more time with them and take them on the promised ubin cycling and more bukit timah plus movies.

2) To complete all my tutorials... I still cant complete all my tutorials on time... wonder how the people did it... arrrgghhh!!! ME students are all so bloody bright... arrgghhh!!~~~ and of course this will include being a better student... less skipping of lectures and tutorials, and more hours on burning the fuel

3) To pay attention to all the people I treasure in life.. to be there for all of u in times of trouble .... if I am there in times of your happiness, good, but dun blame me for not being there to share your happiness; instead be gladful that if u call on me in times of trouble I will try to be there...

4) To be abit more focus in my goals... Getting abit blurr by many causes...I seem to be losing a bit of the zest for life..... hahaha.... Refocus... thats the word...

5) More certification... I still wanna go for my kayaking 3 star lesson... still not confident.
Mayb sports climbing... more cycling prac... I cant cycle well unfortunately... haiz...

Penang Day Y

2004-01-01T19:06:52Z

Penang Day X

Basically the whole day was spent trekking penang hill…. Took one of the trails rather than the tarred roads… entry thru the Moon gate (yue men) . Very scenic view and took quite a few good pics…. The last quarter of the journey was simply unbearable cos of the inclination of the slope…. At least inclined at around 45 degrees at same parts of the slope.

On our way up, saw giant size ‘millipede’ thats more than 10 cm I guess….

At the top of the hill was a totally paranomic view of the whole penang…. Discovered that there was a canopy walk after u reach the summit…. Made a pact with miin eventually to do a 2 or 3 day trek thru the canopy…. Shd be real fun…

There were a few houses at the top of the hill…. And I can imagine sitting at the backyard of the house and looking out at the city sipping warm milo or tea with my love ones… How surreal!!!! Will get a house there for my loved ones and myself there in future if I can afford it…

Anyway, to top it all off, as we were starting to make our descent, a whole herd (??) of clouds drifted past us… we cld literally see the clouds approaching us from a distance… slowly fogging out everything in sight… Soon… we were within the clouds…. And miin was jumping admist the cloud like some kid (AGAIN)… hahahah…. The humidity was a refreshing encouragement for our decent down the almost arduous trek down…

Oh… one more thing… they actually have stations along the route up that provides refreshments for the trekkers…. Very nice!!!

Another of those fantastic great day to make the trip one of its best! ;)

Penang Day X

2003-12-29T18:36:04Z

This is gonna be one of the days in penang that I will vividly remember… in a way, it is the most symbolic of the whole trip… both of us deciede to went down to the morning market to buy ourselves the beachwear that we wanted…. Cldnt find it and went looking for it in some streets that’s the equivalent to the little India in beach road.

---------------------------------------THE SMOKING CAR!!! ---------------------------------

The locals call the beach wear Hawaii… Anyway, when I went out of the shop, I discovered to my horror that a 4WD (johor plate) was smoking from its front bonnet (???). We decided to move away despite the crowd that is drawing near in case it explode… anyway, eventually the windscreen caught fire but was quickly extinguished by a brave soul who ran towards the car with an extinguisher in hand (powder form not foam form).As miin correctly predicted, the powder form did not work well on the car… soon, the road immediately below the 4WD burst into flame.. it was really pretty bad as black ominous smoke sprang from the front of the car… and all along, the crowds were growing… unaware or mayb even oblivious of the possible imminent danger…

We were really getting worried, and I was on the verge of going ahead and evacuating the crowds (duh~~… ;p ) when the fireman finally arrived… They peel off the windscreen and eventually got the situation under control.

--------------------------------------------KITE FLYING!!!----------------------------------

Anyway, we decided to go ahead with our beach excursion. Went to fly kite…. Was a really fun experience… what with seeing your frd and yourself running up and down the beach like two idiots… trying to get the kite to fly despite a perfectly stale air… The sun was perfectly great… but the wind unfortunately wasn’t as friendly.. anyway, we managed to get the kite up and then down… we had to continuously run to pull the kite along…. Decided to rest after running ard silly and went for a dip….

We went home for dinner with my frd’s parents. They treated me to a sumptuous meal of butter cereal prawns and all the nice nice food that I really grew to love during my stay in pg. Ordered umbra smbye, the best must try drink over there….

--------------------------------------- THE UNFORGETTABLE NITE (PART 1).... -----------------------

Then it was preparation for the nite bbq… this will be another unforgettable incident that happened…. The highlight of the trip. ;) We headed off ard 10 (I think) and decided to have a bbq supper at the beach… we drove to the place that we went to fly kite… and we drove all the way to the seafront. What was to happen is typical of any disaster movie that u catch in the movies… and yes… it happened!! To me and my frd!!! Arrggghhh!!!~~~

I was about to ask: ‘ U drive till so front u not scared your car will be stuck in the sand ah…. Like those that happen in the movie…’ when I suddenly heard the full acceleration of the wheels and engines as the car tried to move out of the soft sand…. Gosh!!!~~~ Dun tell me….. Arrrggghhh…. My frd immediately went into a frenzy… We were stuck in the soft whit sand.... I broke all my litestick only to discover that my rescue pack is not working at all… Great!!! What else…. Give it to me at a go man!!! Bring it all on!!!

-------------------------------------- THE UNFORGETTABLE NITE (Part2)..... -------------------

We got out of the car and guess what!!! There were 5 or six dogs surrounding the car… albeit not growling but still intimidating as they approach the car not with curiousity but with an aura of hunger surrounding the pack…. Yea, just what I needed to test my crisis management.. Fuck!!! Anyway, miin pointed out another shit… that the tide was coming in… and if we aren’t gonna do anything, we will be soon submerged…. And then there was the bloody pack… I wanted to build a fire, but cldnt get anything started…. And there was no time… We dedided to move to the nearby village under his suggestion after I tried to puch the car from the front…. This was not the end of the ordeal… throughout the walk to the village, we were surrounded by the pack of dogs… and Miin was totally off…. Given his natural fear of dogs…. Anyway, we managed to get the help of four other locals to puch the car… it was all hard work and no rest… we just wanted the car out before the tide comes in…. we eventuallt figured how to do so… use the care paddings/carpet of the car and place it under the car wheels to provide the necessary friction so that the rubber will move against the carpet then the sand… I was suggesting something like that, but I suggested planks…. Guess the carpet was a much better and practical choice… Anyway, we got the car moving, and thank the locals for their help (they decline our offer for a milo…) . This incident changed the perception of Miin (he is racist --- open secret… ;p )… paradigm shift… a lesson for us… and a test of crisis management….

Eventually got the fire started at another spot on the beach.. this time we were more prudent… parked at main road then walk… once bitten twice shy (scared)… Anyway, we weren’t really in the mood to eat cos the incident was tiring enuff… forgot to bring my sleeping bag … shucks….

----------------------------------------- REFLECTION..... -------------------------------

The wonders of travel… two incident at a day… traveling is not all play sometimes… things happen and many realizations are made… experiences gathered and u grow wiser. Great frdships are formed from such ordeal (got to know miin better after ‘saving’ his car… muahhahahahaha!!~~~~)
Such is the wonder of the great outdoor (I consider this as outdoor too… ;P )

Update update....

2003-12-21T17:47:41Z

Got my result yesterday
Got an A , A minus, few B+ and one B and one B-. Quite a satisfying grade lah.... got 3.95 CAP for this sem... not fantastic... but its at least an improvement... ;)

Got to sit in mum's new car finally... Mercedes is so clumsy.. hahaha.... compared to my subaru... yesh!! finally I can call the subaru MINE!! cos its originally mine in the first place anyway... muhahaha!!! now I have my car back... but really, driving a 4WD subaru impreza is different from a mercs... so clumsy....... well havnt actually drive the mercs yet but thats what mum told me... gonna take her car for an orientation spin one of these days... muhahahaah!!!~~~

anyway brought my brother to watch brother bear... not a very nice show... but still it teaches us to respect the nature... embrace diversity and constantly analyse a situation or viewpoint from someones else's viewpoint...

I like the ending where self sacrificial and the super happy ending.
Like this comment in the movie : the human transformed bear was looking at a pictograph in a cave of a hunter and a bear...and he commented something like 'those are monsters'(referring to the bear) and the little bear beside him said ' those monsters are very ruthless and scary' ..... the little bear was referring to humans... period.

Penang Day 02

2003-12-18T14:05:32Z

Day 02

Woke real late today and headed off to the local butterfly farm.. Saw a snake actually devouring a lizard live and also getting hands on with live scorpion , praying mantis, leaf insect, stick insect blar blar blar… Took some really gd photos…. Some of the visitor to the animal showtime was however kindda rude… in their attempt to stay ‘polite’ they had to tell the presentor that they are going off already before they go off HALFWAY the show…. Fucking rude… then there is this family of four undoubtedly Singaporeans frm their snobbish attitude who came in late and just simply disrupted the show by asking many questions… At least have the simple decency to ask the questions after the whole show…. Singaporeans at their worst…. Duh…. The devouring of the live lizard was a real discovery channel … took us 30 minutes or so…

Anyway, we went to a dam (forgot the name..) and was raining…. Very nice though we had to go down with our umbrellas. ;) Had indo-miee and char kwee tiao for lunch… Introduced to the drink umbra sour plum… super gd… this was to be my addiction for the remaining few days, displacing my original preference for milo peng. ;) The mee goring was fantastic!!! Penang is really a paradise for fd fanatics….
Found out interestingly that there were carpark attendant to issue receipt for car parks… ;) and its usually 40 phaht (= cents) per half hour.

Went on a long winding road with fantastic scenery!!! Can see the whole penang xia!! Very nice….

In between report.....

2003-12-18T13:16:12Z

Hahaha... finally got my first photo online... Thanks to wenkai who taught me how to do it... Yeah!! Now I got a way to put photo onto my diary already!! Finally its no longer gonna be so monotonous and 'picture-less'. HAhhaha... will be continuing with my trip writeup real soon with all the cool pics... Muahhahahaha....

Penang Day 01

2003-12-18T12:51:11Z

Day 01

We went back to my frd’s house to put down my backpack… went to eat curry mee… was super hot for my ‘unexposed’ tongue …. Went over to Singapore airlines and then Malaysia airlines to get Miin’s tix… but he din get the tixs… anyway, we had lunch at a chicken rice stall and loh bak… then went to buy 4D.. hahahaha… the numbers din come out of course…. 2519….

Went to the 60th floor tower and looked out from the 58th storey… had a bird’s eyes view of the whole penang… great!!! Then went over to a Chinese temple and shopping!!!! I was so shocked to find all the pirated VCDs ard…. And its freaking cheap… even the movie DVDs… Staying in malaysia is so happening…

Went over to eat seafood over at the other side over the bridge at the mainland… Kindda ‘unhappening’ day compared to whats about to happen but its already very nice already yah… Simply love traveling…

Penang Day 0

2003-12-17T16:34:46Z

Penang Day 0

Cant believe I made a 10 hour trip over to penang… Took a bus from Lavender all the way to penang… Was kindda clueless as to where I shd go but I guess I survived by following those who look like they are veterans… ;) Anyway, this family of four got lost while we clear the Malaysia custom… Wanted to go and look for them but decided against it since I dun noe the place well… Reminded me of why I had choose t
O learn Kiaikido then…

There was this nite I was sitting on the bus… saw a drunken bangle got up the bus and sat beside a very chio gal… The gal flinch and sit away from the drunkened guy… The guy dint do anything throughout the whole journey… but I remembered I wanted to go up and get the gal out… but din cos I wasn’t confident of even protecting myself… and I din have a reason to do so cos the gal was not touched… if the guy had done something, I wld have went up despite whether I have my martial backgrd… Anyway, I realize then that I must be able to protect myself before I can protect others….

Same case, I dun noe the way , How am I gonna find them…. Period…

After a 10 hours ride finally got to penang, was so happy when I crossed the penang bridge… Dropped at Shangri-la and gave my frd a call…. This was the start of a weeks of great fun and adventure…..

End of Day 0

Back!!~~~~~

2003-12-17T15:57:05Z

Sitting in my living room settling all my emails now...
Have been away for a week in korea and then followed by a week in Penang... freaking fun travelling esp the penang trip... will be rushing my own trip report .... The penang one is definitely worth the effort...

Anyway just got back yesterday morning...
Need to top up my own personnal medi kit... for personnal use only...

Happy happy trip!!!!

2003-11-30T10:48:00Z

Just taking a break with my tour guide over at the internet lounge in Korea hotel.. will be doing my trip update after I come back. To those who always have been thinking of me or cldnt get wind of where I was, I went to korea...

Very good weather today... just went skiing anyway this afternoon and had live seafood... would love to travel here with my future beloved... :) whoever u may be. hahahah..... will come here for honeymoon also mayb.... quite interesting place I must say... 7.7 degrees here. pretty cold and I am bashing thru all the coldness with my lafuma detachable. ;) And of course my Panasonic F1 cam that I got with me.

Will be updating again only when I come back from my trip now.
P.S. My tour guide beside me was playing the song with the guy donating the eye song... so romantic song... shes excellent I must say... hahha!!!

Speedinngg~~!!!

2003-11-19T08:43:54Z

Went to the library to zap some materials... Nus is like a ghost town now.... like everyone is staying away from a plague... yesh, the plague of muuging...

Drove home last nite and nearly shed a tear for memories long past.... I still feel sad, I still dare not listen to the songs that I loved... I still speed when I am alone...

Was literally racing thru 99 bends last nite... a group of 'dun-noe-what' sporty looking cars was behind me.... went very very fast liao, but still was overtaken... Fuck.. but only one mangaed to overtake me lah.... can feel the drift last nite xia.... very thrilling... hAHAAHAaa.... old habits die hard...

Must be the stress compelling me to do to do things that rationality would have forbid... ;)

Too stressed... hahahhaha!!!

2003-11-18T06:49:38Z

You think everybody loves you. You think you can
get along with everybody, and that you're the
nicest person ever. Who knows, maybe you're
right.

seriously, who do you think you are?
brought to you by Quizilla

Guess I too stressed... Tried one more of the quiz... THis turn out to be..... mmmm... hahahaha!!!~~

JIayou everyone!!!!

2003-11-18T06:44:59Z

You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hahhahaha.... on top of what I tried previously, I tried another one.... The result from this is quite satisfying... hahahaha... but wonder how accurate it is.... ;)
Anyway, guess I getting too much break time today... hahahaha.... To those taking their exams, Jiayou yah!!!! Especially You. ;) Unfulfilled promise. (period). Mobile broke down so din have the means to wish everyone gdluck.... Mmmmm.... All the way!!!!

My first graphic in my LJ....

2003-11-18T06:34:48Z

I'm boring

why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
brought to you by Quizilla

MMM...... Tried the quiz... mmm its what was mentioned.... Thanks ML for the link... and yesh, I have been reading your posting with interest... but dun noe what the heck u talking though.... ;)

Yours is very accurate worh.... As for mine, I think it is too... Muhahahaha!!!~~~

Exams exams exams....

Tired.... and kindda stress....

2003-11-16T17:04:00Z

JUst finish a day of 'intense' mugging..... gonna chill out abit... got an exam at 9 tmlw and is seriously intimidated by the morbid thought of pigging the morning away.... guess I am kindda stressed up.... ate the whole packet of chocolate cookies.... and miss my evening run... havnt been running for ard three days liao.... really on my way to fat-hood... hahahha.....
Shdnt be too stress by rite cos I am really quite bochap leh... all my frds so perk up... guess its another sem of poor or mediocre CAP again... sigh...
Frd sent me my first online photo of myself!!! hahahha..... wanted to put on livejournal but dun noe how to... guess being the 'turtle' that I am, I will neber be able to put up spome decent photos...

I mangaed to put it up on my friendster though.... since pei pei or someone did ask me to put my photo up in frienster instead of the pic of maldives... ;) Gonna escape into the world of Belgarath and polgara the immortals now.... and then its bedtime....

Day in prospective

2003-11-11T18:38:54Z

Went to see Prof Yap this afternoon on some thermodynamics questions…. Was very enlightened by what he told me… how I shd see the whole syllabus that is thought this semester…. Why certain process as the rankine cycle is chosen and stuff like that…. Its so much easier if u understand WHY rather than take the cycles that was thought as ‘another human creation’…. Every innovation in a way is a product of necessity and as I told Stella before, necessity is the driving force to all inventions… (as oppose to money from her point of view…) ;) The different modes of inventions arise frm circumnavigation of the least ideal real life situation… just like in all things in life… We do our best to reach utopy or be at least at a certain ‘efficiency’ in things…

Prof Yap really gave me a very insightful view to the world of thermodynamics… and it helps that he is such a kindly Prof… no pretense and the airs of some lecturers who simply… in my words.. suck big TIME!!...  If given a chance, I would have want to dwell on this particular contents of the module more, but I guess I can do some self study during the holis… (that’s always the plan… but it will always be THE PLAN…. Students nowadays are too preoccupied with other stuff… like taking a break from our ‘STREESS’ life…. Duh…. )
But I guess I shdnt wish for more cos if not wait I da bao then jialats xia… hahahah….

Stood Andrew up for another materials consultation… still feeling very guilty… Wonder if he is reading this… ;) Hey, big beng LAO SHI, sorrie leh…. ;)

Sharon and the guys are going EVEREST base camp next may… wonder if I shd go.. but I did promise my coursemate to do our vacation internship then…. But…. The base camp trek will be real cool…. Still deciding…. But gonna buy myself a gd pair of boots and outer shell for Korea and Norway….

Sensors is in a mess….. Its modules like this that completely undermines the sanctity of proper engineering education…. The lecturers simply throw all the notes at you… what they have they just throw…. The workbin (place where we download our course materials) are really ‘a bin’… as my frd puts it…. Why cant there be more lecturers like Prof Yap, or Dr Quan or Prof Lim….

Must remember to do a prospective for this revolutionary semester….

I am crapping soo much... basically, must be the exam stress... muahahahha!!!!
Resisted the temptation to eat cup noodles… muahahah… eating my cereal now….

Shang.... Kuai le....

2003-11-07T22:05:46Z

Finally got the korean MTV I was always looking for.... It talks about this guy who donated his eyes for a gal he loves...... Had been looking for this MTV since last year.... to be exact, it was since 13 september 2002.... I watched it way later.... but that is the date....

I once asked what will happen if ur current love ones is blinded cos of some events?? Will u willingly donate your eyes for your other half... and leave her to let her live a happy life??? Yet, has it ever occured to both parties that they cld have been better off leaving with each other's weakness... Was the guy foolish in doing what he did??? Would you do it for anyone on this earth, be it your family members or anyone?? I say instead of donating your eyes, why not support the person instead? ;) Its just another way of seeing things.... another way of living to the fullest... arggghh!!!!~~~ I am getting crappy again...
The morning breeze is blowing gently.... its always so nice in the morning... and yesh, I havnt slept a wink since last nite... ;)

GQ's lament...

2003-11-02T17:39:17Z

Too much stress recently... somehow my stomacnh gears seem to be in full drive.... always churning me and urging me to eat with that throbbing pain within... irritating!!... yesh... suffered another attack today on my now weak and fragile gastric.... Feeling very sick recently ..... Think my health is frailing.... Must be lack of sports... withdrawal sypmtoms... THe onset of my life as a fatso.. muahhahaha.... I decide this cannot happen.... and mayb starving will be a gd choice to combat ting becoming fat..... but that gnawing pain... irritating fuck...

Back pain relapse again... Sleeping more and more... more and more like a pig liao... so long since anyone call me a pig... miss the name so much.... Wonder how Kat and the rest are doing... Its been a week plus since I last met up with them.... missing them so much....

Happy?? Sad???

2003-11-01T17:38:35Z

Hectic week… its finally nearing the end of semester and exams are just round the corner…. Have been sleeping like 4 am in the morning for the past few days…. Have been watching the MTV my frd sent me…. Very sad one…. Always have the urge to go for a run after listening to the song…. HAvnt been exercising for the past week…. Gonna train up abit again… getting slacker and slacker… at this rate, I am gonna be a fatso at the end of the semester already.. hahahah…

Went dine with parents as usual this evening… As we sat in the coffee shop eating our dine, I am really so thankful I have such a supportive family…. Who can come all the way to NUS for my convenience…. They bring love to me I dun even need to find or ask for it…. …. Despite all their busy schedule and stuff…. Every week is like a reminder of how fortunate I am…. And it makes it even better that I have such an adorable bear bear… He is still coughing as usual… haiz….

Its been long since we catch a movie or go for a swim already…. ;) And I still want to bring him to Jurong swimming complex and Bukit timah again…

I also want to bring U to Paris and hold ur hands while we walk down the isle in front of the paris tower… heck whatever that lomantic tower is call… hahhaha….

Submitted my SEP application form to the office today… It was a really complicated feeling…. Handing that pile of paper that must have weighed a ton or more…. But anyway its gonna be 2005 so its still not too late for me to change my mind anyway…

Trying to stay focus still…..

Its sssoooooo soooo early!!! :)

2003-10-26T20:02:29Z

Its early in the morning and I am sleeping at this sorta of wee hours again…. Frd sent me a file that has a link to a MTV… exceptionally sad…. In that instant, memories flood my whole lethargic soul… I still cannot belive that feeling hurt deep deep inside has become a daily routine for me… I have learnt so much the past year… I still cant believe all the things that happen which have made me the person who I am today. All the hurt and misery… and now, all the resolution to realize all the things I want in my life. Perhaps I have really ‘harden’ in the past years…. Misery is but just a passing phase that I will take with me, and carry with me, even if it means the rest of my life…. Memories too.. and all that happens everyday in my life, past or present…. Few years down the road, this hurt may still be here…. I will still be who I am… and I know that the memories are absolutely mine to keep… ;)

Went for a very quick run… Loved to run when I am bothered…. Faced with choices again…. Things always comes knocking when U least expect it…. Things always happen like that… Argggh!!! ~~~ Went for a really great run…. Very fast paced today, so I was like quite fucking shaq when I reached my end point…. Nearly died of dehydration from all the perspiration… ;)

Learning squash from Kwoh Miin, din noe there was so much tatics involved in squash….
Stella is having some problems also….
Played a trick on my neighbour with Khai ming… we went to steal his keys cos he left his door happily open when he went down for dine!!! He is so super trusting…. Anyway, he really got a shock when he came back… muhahahah!!! ;) Hoping to bring him to eat some gd local food before he heads back korea… 

Had dine with my nKhai ming, my neighbour and he told me PE teachers can earn much more…. Got me really tempted there… The starting pay is like 3000 for second class honours…. Perhaps, I shd really consider teaching aerobics… muhahahah!!! Still finding the idea of being a teacher very very appealing…. But then my engineering discipline will go to waste…. Mmm…..

Gonna brush teeth then Koonz….
To NTU frds who are reading this, JIayou for your exams…
To NUS frds, Jiayou also okie!!! The hols are nearing!! Yesh yesh!!!
To all others who are reading this, Jiayou also in pursuing your dreams…

PE Teacher.... OBS instructor.... Or JUst an engineer.....

2003-10-22T16:02:33Z

Was having a talk with Ivan and Lionel in the Arts canteen and the topic of beinf a teacher crop up again… I am seriously contemplating being a teacher… Esp a PE teacher… If not an OBS instructor…. Basically u get paid for doing the things that you will be enjoying most…. Helping to mould the young thru the great outdoor if not sports.

I can imagine a career of meeting the young minds and helping them see the true spirit of sportsmanship, of thruly enjoying a game of ‘anything’ without the mindset of ‘overcompetitiveness’. The want of winning oneself but not necessary others…

Or in another case, the guidance of the young minds into future great expedition leaders or thinking adults…. My experience with Justin and the guys frm Jurong Institute and even Dec has shown me the vast potential of every individual… and also the satisfaction of knowing that at the end of each week, or mayb months, u are helping another person… for the betterment of that person…. The survival of another starfish….

And the perk of it all, on top of these sense of achievement is of course being able to be in the outdoors… or do sports… I can imagine the kayaking courses.. the tons of leadership or team dynamics management courses… And the schl holidays of course!!! HAhahha…. Its all so beautiful… so perfect…. Is this just my little dream… or isit gonna be what I will be doing…. This life or next… nothing is of permanace… everything changes… and nothing changes…. (crappy…)

Classic....

2003-10-21T06:46:44Z

I just had lunch... just watched the remaining part of the classic... arguably the best part of the show.... Cried again.... Felt so bloody helpless.... freaking guniang... but well, the catalysis of such emotions once in a while Is I think quite healthy yah…
I wonder if it possible to love someone for a lifetime…. Why isit that people I see ard are too fast to convince themselves to move on… In the show, a lifetime can be bonded by just a necklace…. Just by a few weeks of love and courtship…. Why isit that all I see, people have already resigned t the fate of singlehood… Why do we go ard getting hurt and hurting others…. Why do we give up loving, and y do we gave up the idea of loving… Why doesn’t love stay ard for a lifetime like in the shows…. Why must everything regress to just memory and eventually just a fuzzy past?? If the memory is not worth it, we forget; if we think we don’t have a future, we discard it in the hope of a ‘brighter’ future…. When we tink its no longer possible, we give up….. But why dint the leads every give up… Instead, the show revolves ard the desire for the other party to be happy…. To be able to live life to the fullest and not become a burden to the other party… Perhaps, that’s why relationships end… that’s why lovng couples get split… that’s why all the tragedy ard…. That’s why no one really believes in love anymore nowadays…. But before the couples give up ‘in the hope of the betterment’ of the other, have they ever consider what they cld have done and didn’t do…. Just like in the show, Its so fucking stupid what the male lead does… I am so bloody pissed… cos I would have done otherwise…. And the ending would have been much happier…

But on another note, when U are in love, the welfare of the other party is of perennial, even if it means forgiving him/her for the unreasonable actions and things your love one does… Forgiving is not a talent as mentioned in A-mei’s Zhen shi song…. Its when u loved the wrong person… SO in a nutshell, before we love , we must really see who we love…. For we may never have the streangth to recover from an attack from the ugly side of love…. We may never recover….

Great day, great morning!!!

2003-10-15T23:40:06Z

Time for some self justification to start my day:

Reasons whi I am not going to Glasgow but going Norway
• Place is nicer in Norway…. I can always go UK anytime but Norway is a totally different thing…
• Despite having language problem, many seniors have been there and some are still there…. Module matching hence wldnt be that much of a problem…
• The available reasources for Norway is more compared to Glasgow…. Got more online information on it….
• Beautiful!!!! Absolutely stunning…. Can see aurora plus all te wo be done wilderness!!! And the amount of trekking there… hopefully I dun mug there…. ;)

A frd who called me this morning was toking cock to me when we broach on the topic of me nnot going for my outdoor pursuit… well, after thinkingfor a while, I guess I better self justify myself to myself in case I get screwed up by my guilt soon… haahahah!!~~~~
This sem is arguable important for me cos I need to get better score that’s why I am really going all out (not that I am seeing any results…) …. Butat least I am trying to pull up my CAP…. I wanna gain that momentum first…. Before heading for my pursuit…. And I have always been keeping my physical standard yah…. Hahah… with all the occasional run and swim…

Early in the morning, and I am here self justifying my decisions…. Before my lesson at 8…. Boi, am I confuse…. Its as if I am talking to myself …. Hahahha…. Jiayou!!

Gonna head home finally tis weekend cos I gonna see my dentist… retainer broke … Wisdom tooth keep pushing my other teeth… fucking pain…. And gonna see doc soon for my lips also… argghhh…. I becoming the shu qi look alike no… arggghhh!!!!

Crappy again....

2003-10-13T08:56:15Z

Stella just came and bought me my favourite coin ba gua (pork dry??) and also some dim sum from crstal jade.... Recently many people have been buying me many stuff.... Things like Soft baked cookies and curry puff from freshie... My neighbour offered me chicken essense knowing that I stayed up till 6 this morning. ;) Jack wanted to visit me when he was near NUS.. Somehow, it just validates my claim again that I am naturally blessed with people who care for me.... its essentially not the things that they are giving me, but the thought of it... ANd for all this I really appreciate this gift from god.... these people whom I care and loved and who knows to reciprocate.

Was busy with all the planning for Norway Vs Glasgow.... Really think that NOrway is a nice place, but the language there is NOrweigien.... Gonna have some problem there... and it doesnt help that I am assigned to UK and its glasgow... Two conflicting attreaction seemed to push me to the fracture level last nite.... THere are actually quite a few modules that can match in Glasgow... but Norway is really a much brighter country compared to UK.... more picturesque.... I am really having a dilemma...

Its the time of the year when things starts to get fuzzy... aims are lost, and focus fogged... Even as objective oriented as I have become after certain unhappy incidents in the past, I cant help but feel slowly the burden of all these slowly weighing me down.... I am one module behind schedule.... Still cant get over the fact that a ME student must study sensors , all those calculations of thevenin and stuff.... Arrrghhh!!~~~ Simply freaks me off....Gonna take a nap first... ahhaha... lazy lazy pig.... snort....